Dear customer,

Here at Microsoft we realize that in a busy World NT systems
administrators have many pressures on their time, which often means
that solving urgent problems eats into the periods available for
routine maintenance work.  To help resolve this problem we have
developed new technology to reduce the maintenance workload.  The Auto
Hotfix Wizard will remove the need to routinely apply important
security hotfixes to your NT installation.  The Wizard periodically
checks the Microsoft web site to check for new hotfixes, and will
automatically download and install all that are appropriate for your
system.

However, this alone will not completely solve the problem, as very
busy administrators may never be able to spare the time to download
the Wizard from us.  We have resolved this difficulty by exploiting
the BOB(TM) (Buffer Overrun Bug) technology present in Outlook Express
(TM) and Internet Explorer (TM).  We will soon start attaching a small
VECTOR(TM) (Very Efficient Code To Obtain Remainder) program, which
will in turn download the Wizard.  This will be totally transparent to
all recipients: Outlook Express (TM) will automatically run the
VECTOR(TM) on receipt of the e-mail, while other mailers will
correctly ignore it.  Similarly, whenever any user visits the
Microsoft website Internet Explorer (TM) will fetch the VECTOR(TM)
which in turn downloads the Wizard.  The Wizard then uses CRACK(TM)
(Computationally Recover Administrator Codeword Knowledge) to obtain
administrator rights, and from this time on works silently to keep
your copy of NT bang up to date.

We are aware that not all NT users have discovered the advantages of
Internet Explorer (TM) and Outlook Express (TM), particularly those at
academic institutions.  Fortunately most of these users have good
Internet connectivity and are not shielded behind firewalls, which
allows an alternative distribution strategy.  BORG (Bill's Online
Research Group) have developed Worm techniques similar in concept but
vastly superior to those used by the Internet Worm.  Using these the
Wizard searches for other connected NT machines, and using the BOB(TM)
technology present in NT it installs itself onto these machines.  In
turn these machines search out other connected NT machines, and the
exponential nature of the process enables a very rapid roll-out over
the entire Internet.  Worm techniques will also mean that the Wizard
is able to install itself onto all machines behind corporate
firewalls, so that servers and other machines unlikely to run web
browsers or e-mail clients are properly upgraded.  In this way we can
ensure that you are always in possession of the latest and most secure
version of NT.

Yours,

William H. Gates III