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Now in it's 13th glorious year with the lastest installment three whole years in the making. Will the saga ever achieve anything resembling a plot? let alone any kind of an end? Why doesn't Hilda want Derick to get to Covent Garden? What's with the Sprouts? Have we seen the last of the Green Space Pig? Does the Shopkeeper know more than he's letting on? what happened last time Hilda had a gun stuck in Derick's back? Does anyone know? Does anyone care? Somehow I doubt it.
The Torch Saga has greeted visitors to CCl4 since 1989. Below is The Saga in all its glory, unadulterated, unaltered, unabridged. There basking it its own self-rightous glory.
It's short, shit and very very slow - but my god you'll be gripped... |
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...The Story So Far |
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Act 1, Scene 1 - The Shop
"Excuse me, have you got a bag for
these torches ?" the red headed girl
enquired.
"Yes." replied the shopkeeper.
"Anything else your excellency ?",
asked the shopkeeper.
"A Green Space Pig.", she demanded with
an evil glint in her eye.
The shopkeeper smiled from eye to eye
as he realised she was a free-mason
too.
"I presume you'll be wanting it wrapped
then?", he said.
"Yes.", she answered back. They were
soon upstairs jumping on the bed.
Suddenly there was a large bang and the
couple stopped bouncing and stared at
each other.
A tall dark man fell through the door
and into the room.
"Oh my bleedin' head. Who the hell left
that green pig hanging from the door
frame ?"
"Can I help you?" Enquired the
shopkeeper
"Yes, maybe you could. Do you have half
a pound of sprouts? and could you
direct me to Covent Garden ?"
"Here are your sprouts sir, and yes I
can, but you'll need a zone five
travel card to get there."
The tall dark man looked dejectedly
at his sprouts and walked out.
"Mind that there pig!" Shouted the
Shopkeeper, tutting as he filled
in yet another insurance claim form.
Act 1, Scene 2 - The Past
After a few hours the tall dark man
regained consciousness only to be
greeted by the warm, soft voice he had
left behind in his teens.
"Derick, Derick, Can you hear me?"
"Hilda?"
The tube pulled into the station.
"Covent Garden! I must get off!"
Hilda's warm smile faded as she placed
the barrel of the gun in the small of
Derick's back.
"No Derick, you mustn't. Not again."
"I can and I will, the metal inserts
are as strong as the teenage love
we left behind on that snowy peak"
"After last time you can't deny
the importance of the gap."
"Forget the gap, that pig meant nothing
to me."
...To be continued |
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| The latest instalment of The Torch Saga (highlighted in green) was created on 4th February 2002 |
© 2002 CCl4
placenta cafae sumus |
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